Some couples are as different as night and day.  That’s the way it was with my husband Bill and myself.  There were a legion of differences, but probably the biggest was that I considered myself the artist and the only one of us that had any truly creative spirit.  I would consider the things I did as a crafting of ideas with the fine and incisive beam of a laser mind and would think of Bill (who had worked as a  general contractor in the construction industry for years) as more of a ‘hit the nail with a sledgehammer’ type guy. I was the performer of ethereal mental feats and him a tinkerer with tools. I admit I had always looked down on him a bit in regards to this, somehow seeing myself as being on some “higher creative plane’.  This silly viewpoint drastically changed during one very trying and frightening incident, one which got me to admire him, and his  ingenious use of the simplest of tools, more than if I’d discovered he’d painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with his own two hands. Continue Reading

What do say when you find out that fairy tales aren’t real? That they simply just don’t exist. That in real life, things aren’t as perfect as they look on the outside. That everything you thought was true just turned out to be one big lie.

I turned my face away from my mother, towards the tinted window of the car, I watched the rain drops pelt against it, as the trees and highway raced by. I thought about my Mom and Dad, I felt my eyes start to cloud as I tried to fight back the tears, my mom was not going to see me cry about this divorce, she was not going to see how much this hurt me. “Mom?” I asked in a quiet voice, I could hear it slightly quivering, I’m sure she heard it too, she didn’t mention anything about it though. “Yes?” she said not looking away from the road. “Did you think Dad was the right person for you when you married him?” I said not turning away from the window. She didn’t speak for awhile, I watched the sign for Baltimore pass by in a rush. “No.” she said bluntly, her voice was regretful. I turned to her, she looked like she was about to cry, “Then why did you marry him? Why did you put us through this?” I said my voice rising slightly. Her voice cracked  “I was scared Katie, scared to be alone, I was scared of being lonely.” She finished I could see a single tear running down her face. I turned to the window fighting back tears myself. I got in control, wiped my eyes, and asked the window quietly “How did you know he wasn’t the man for you?” I was scared to hear the answer, but listened anyway. “I don’t think we should be talking about this, I don’t want you to hate your father.” she said. “Tell me please.” I whispered. I looked up we made eye contact for the briefest second, I could see how much deep sorrow and regret she had, she looked completely broken. “Please, tell me.” I whispered again, looking down at my hands. It seemed a million years before she finally said “Ok.” Continue Reading

Vincent’s message showed up in my inbox with little fanfare.  It was nondescript but carefully drafted: standard opening line (“Your profile looks amazing and you sound like an interesting person”), usual mention of travel, the safest ice-breaker, followed by a smooth segue into enviable perks from work (“Glad to know you love to travel.  My consultant job has allowed me to go to places far and wide”), generous name-dropping of exotic locales (“I recently returned from Rio and have to say it is one of my favourite places, along with Nicaragua, Bora Bora and Bhutan which I visited last year”), highlighting sophistication (“Since you dance, I want to mention that I took tango lessons in Argentina while on a wine region tour”), and the action-packed closing (“perhaps we can head out for a night of salsa at X lounge followed by dessert at Y cafe?  Oh, I also heard that Z bar has an impressive line up for their upcoming jazz month. Another option would be the Pan-Asian Food Fest happening.”).  Phew. Continue Reading

~ Dating in College ~

I attended a private Christian college outside of New York City for two years. During the first year, I went out on group dates. We had a “Sadie Hawkins” day where the girls asked out the guys for a formal dinner. The guy I asked out was so talkative that I couldn’t wait for the dinner to end! I was also the girl that guys turned to for advice. I would quite often go for a walk with a guy and sometimes held hands as we talked. My floor mates at times were jealous about my relationship with the guys…yet they went out on dates and I didn’t.

~ A Once in a Lifetime Date ~

The second year, I became really good friends with Traci and Terri. We shared a lot of laughs, studied together, and played a lot of table tennis. One day Traci showed me a magazine and pointed at a cute guy and said that he was her cousin Chad. I soon learned that Chad was a magazine model and that he was a decent guy. Traci’s birthday was coming up and she jokingly asked Chad if he was going to come and take her out. He said that he would need to check his schedule. Continue Reading